Month: November 2021

It has been an interesting week in the ranch. I returned to the consulting world after a three month hiatus as a wandering man. I have been resettling from my recent revelations, and some interesting changes have occurred.

The consulting? Fully detached. I can now plug in, look around, consider, perform, suggest, guide, document, but I can fully disconnect when the clock says X. The work will be there tomorrow. It is a problem that needs solving, but it is not my problem and never will be my problem. It is one of the top five largest companies in the country, so regardless of what I may or may not do, they will be fine, they will survive, and they can readily find another to fill my niche, were it required.

Other than the few hours required on the work screen, life has been different. Disconnected from the outside world. It is music now, with no visuals and notably, no lyrics. No news. No talk shows. No podcasts…. no input other than my own. It is providing clarity I have lacked for some time.

We can lose ourselves in others’ input, whether it be a network conceived idea or the ranting of a man on the net. It is someone else’s idea. These ideas are crafted, formulated, written, produced, broadcast. And yes, I get to ingest it if I choose, but nothing about it, absolutely nothing, is mine. I am a passive recipient to their thoughts, ideas, beliefs, whims, sense of humor or angst. Nothing is mine.

At the moment, amidst the silliness, insanity, shift that is the shift that it is…. another moment to give thanks to the ranch. I know no other place like this. I can reformulate my thoughts on my own, as I need, without the expressions, positive or negative, from anyone else.

I give thanks to the universe for letting me find this place. For letting me experience this place. Happy Thanksgiving to you all. Note that for which you are thankful, and celebrate it.

Resetting one’s sense of self, and resetting one’s place in reality, can feel transcendent as recently noted. What a gift this ranch is not only for such, but when reality reveals we now live in a culture that is nothing but a Monty Python sketch.

Social reality isn’t all it’s cracked up to be these days. I shall focus upon the sanity of nature and this ranch.

It has taken a year to complete and absorb, but I share for reference.

Everyone has a history that is unique to their given human experience. Everyone has a past full of boxes; containers of memories, ideas, belief systems, experiences that shape, mold and guide the subtle shifts into the being we are today versus yesterday, last month, last year.

It was a transcendental week on the ranch. Nearly everyone has packed up and left for the winter even though it looks and feels like early October. The private paradise I get to call home feels larger now, more rugged, more remote with the lack of human energy buzzing about.

Wednesday I chose to tear off the blinders and examine my core. To take a deep dive and see what’s laying about the attic of my psyche. Dust. Boxes and boxes full of dust. Every box I looked at, struggled to open but tore off the long locked lid and peaked inside was full of nothingness. No presence, no torment, no pain, just… dust from what was.

I am the man I am today. He is not the man he was a year ago, as evidenced by this site’s history. I arrived a man with heavy baggage, laden with oh so many boxes long since sealed, stacked and sometimes buried. The full reboot took until late Thursday but the facts are clear. The attic is now freshly cleaned. The boxes full of nothing but the idea of the past could simply be examined for what they were – the past. They are not the present, not the future, and they were oh so heavy to schlep around all these years.

There is no need to carry them any more.

The old dog has developed some hip issues. Tightening of the joints, stiffening of the hips, and general signs of an old being whose body is beginning to fail him. His eyes are clear, his mind his sharp and his spirit wants to move with me, but the body soon lets him down.

We have tried a few medications. Some cause drowsiness which seems like cheating an old fellow that naturally sleeps 19-20 hours a day as it is. Some cause long term kidney, heart or lung issues, but they did not seem to loosen him up or help him move.

I’ve had three friends suggest CBDs lately so last weekend, whilst in the metropolis that is Fort Garland, I stopped at the hemp store. Much to my surprise they have a line of products specifically for dogs. Tinctures, dog biscuits, and various infused snacks.

We started low. Five milligrams in the morning, and five at night. The changes in the old boy are notable. He acts lighter, freer, less tied to the struggling body as he moves with much less discomfort. Slowly and methodically, we can again go out for daily walks. An activity that, after doing daily with this creature for over twelve years, I too was missing the routine.

I am just pleased to ease his pain and see the lightness in his being. He deserves the best I can proffer the old boy.