It has been an interesting change, moving into this community. The idyllic notions of a child that here, people would be different. It is not complaint, merely fact. We are all equally flawed, and equally seeking our own way. I was born into a dangerous culture of deflection, deceit, abuse, and outright thievery. I lie awake at times wondering, in spite of what I have seen, why I still am wired to believe the good, not even the real. As I said, flawed. We are what we are.
I am physically healing, and will heal, but taking such time from this site offers a man time to reflect, as does my second winter on this mountain. I have had friends near me this winter, but often not here, due to access. All is well on this mountain top, and it is time for the next chapter to unfold for this man. I wish to write, create and explore as such, but not here, my friends. This is my last post upon the site. This chapter is complete.
The need to reach out as such, express as such, explore my psyche as I greedily needed The Healing Valley… it is all shifting. Shifting from expression to grace, from narcissistic utterances to empathy, assuming my little world matters in the grand scheme, it is shifting. At times I wrote posts targeted at sentiments, or people, from my past. A learning it was, a shift in tone for the audience has emerged.
Overall, there was a need to continue the past, my attempt to heal that which cannot be healed; some things we must cover with scar tissue. These scars remain to remind us, and will continue to remind us, until our death. We cannot lament them. We must accept them for what they are. It is what it is. We are what we are. But most importantly, we are not what we were. We must continue with our battle scars and begin anew. A new challenge, a new outlet, a new path even if one is tepid to walk it, even if one’s heart yearns to pick the scar, no longer a scab. It is how we continue to grow and adapt, and survive. What else is there? I will write more. I am ready to write, but it shall not be here.
Thank you all for reading, and for sharing this adventure with me.
I hope we meet again one day.